IT BYTES - WITH BROWNSKILL "RUBBERTY" LEE!

Penycae, Rhos Aelwyd, Cefn Mawr, Coedpoeth - total ruddy sh**holes. Who would want to live in a village where you could reside on the Old Smelt Road? Shades of the Flint Farts wafts of the 1980s when you passed through on a train.
Has the sun ever shone at Plaskynaston Lane? The ground was built to bear a cloud over it. The last time the TV cameras were there was to film how many people slipped on their arses on that grass slope by the dressing rooms.
Well, we might see Timmy, Powelly and Ginny this Friday evening but not Ricky.
The Welsh Premier's resident jailbird has left Druids "for disciplinary reasons" according to the league website.
Apparently he's played for eight WPL clubs already and is now looking for another. He is seeking a club with few expectations, packed with rejects from other Welsh Premier sides or scousers who couldn't get a game for Maghull Thirds - expect a call from Connah's Quay any day Rick.
WELSHPOOL WONKERS
What a poor game on Saturday, but at least Rhyl were trying to win it. Welshpool and their spooky eyed manager Tommi Morgan were over the moon with a draw - lucky bar stewards.
When was the last time Morgan blinked? His staring eyes can only be matched by Deidre off Coronation Street and no doubt when Morgan packs in football he can explore a new career as an illusionist.
In fact, he has an illusion now, that Welshpool might ever win something - ho ho!
On the Welsh Premier site he warned WelshPOO might be out of the league unless they get a better ground - can we have that in writing Tommi? Signed in the presence of a crackshot lawyer who will give you no alternative other than to return to the Spar Mid-Wales League when the wheels come off.
Well we are now five points behind Llanelli, which is a worry especially as we cannot rely on Ugly Nicholas's Spanish waiters to make an Arcelona of things at Christmas as there aren't that many Madrid Mercenaries left at Stebonheath now.
Is it just me or is watching Rhyl quite boring right now? There's no spark, come on lads up the ante or I'll be renewing my season ticket for Ragged School.
BLEAKDALE
I see Steve Bleasdale is now in charge of Leigh RMI. Expect the chuffing engine to come off the rails sooner rather than later as the ex-Bangor flop is King Midas in reverse - everything he touches turns to shite.
HAY STUPID!
Alex Hay often failed to hit a barn door for Rhyl. Now he is the Unibond League Division One South's top goalscorer with Cammell Laird.
It's funny how some players who leave Belle Vue go on to better things. Lee Trundle, Conall Murtagh, Stewart White.....hahahahahaha!
IN THE DOCK
Ex-Bangor City defender Adam Docker has been called up to play for Pakistan in their World Cup qualifiers.
It shows how crap the standard of football in Pakistan must be when they have to rely on a City reject to bail them out. Still, Pakistan might have a chance against Wales.
What next? Paul Friel getting selected for Burkino Fasa?
OWL WITH DERISION
Well, a whole column nearly gone by and not one jibe at Barn Owl Harris. Well I can't disappoint the readers...
This week, the 360 degree head turning TNS chairman has apparently stated more Welsh Premier players should get a chance to play for Wales.
Has Welsh football become that shite that we now need to look at part-timers to save us? I notice Harris didn't mention any names, certainly wouldn't be any of his own as there's hardly a Welshman in sight in green and white hoops.
Fat Les Davies lining up against Germany or Holland? Do us a favour Harris, bury your head in your feathers and take up residence in the Welsh Mountain Zoo.

STOP PRESS: It is reported today Inmate Evans has signed for GAP Queens Park. I take it GAP stands for = Guest At Prison?

Am I bitter? Am I bitter?
Pint of Boddingtons for Rubberty please!
Yours in Splurges
Rubberty Lee

** RUBBERTY Lee's views are very much his own and not necessarily representative of the views of Lilywhites Online.